


little things

by emmaofmisthaven



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10268990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaofmisthaven/pseuds/emmaofmisthaven
Summary: It’s in the little things, she decides.





	

It’s in the little things, she decides.

It is the way he drinks his coffee every morning – or at least, every whatever-the-hell-is-morning-in-outer-space. His eyes are still half-closed, lids heavy with the sleep he hasn’t fully shaken off quite yet, and he navigates his way to the kitchen with the ease that only comes after months in the same enclosed space. The way he puts the mug under the coffee machine is all but delicate, but his fingers barely brush the button before he leans against the counter with a groan. Naomi watches him from her spot at the table – always the first to wake up, way before Alex or Holden, or even Amos who takes forever to get out of bed. And then she smiles at him, fond, amused, when Holden finally gets his first sip of coffee and sighs deeply. Eye closed, head tilt back, his Adam’s apple working as he gulps down the precious liquid. And then he looks at her staring at him, and smiles – little wrinkles around his eyes, and her heart growing bigger, warmer.

It’s how he forces himself not to touch her when they’re on deck, leaning above her chair and giving his orders. It’s the way his fingers will linger above her shoulder but never graze, because Amos is sitting just next to her, because Alex is waiting for his next command, because they have shit to get done and places to be and Holden is a great many things but unprofessional he is not. Not when the weight of the lives they lost still hangs heavily on his shoulders, not when he believes he needs to save the entire galaxy and then some. He leans into her personal space, Naomi’s breath caught in her throat, but in those moments he’s her captain, not her – whatever he is to her.

It’s the weekly messages he sends his mother, talking about the crew’s latest exploits and the people they saved, the successful missions. He smiles to himself as he leans above the speaking device, and glances at her when he tells his mother that everything is fine, and he can’t wait for her to meet his crew, and he hopes she’s proud. Naomi has never been much of a family girl – you learn not to get attached to anyone in The Belt, not even your parents, not even your family. But Holden is too much of an Earther for his own good, and he loves his mother so much it makes Naomi melt a little. He tells her he will introduce them, one day, her and his mother and his father and his mother and… And she smiles, and kisses him, and laughs at this big sap that wants himself tough.

It’s how he looks up to her, when a decision needs to be made and he can no longer handle being captain, can no longer deal with the role that was thrust on him when he didn’t ask. Nothing but a glance, a nod, a touch of her hand against his – nothing but a silent conversation that lasts a second but means so much. He values her input more than anyone ever did, and trusts her to make the hard choices with him. He trusts her with his crew, his ship, his hero complex, and she opens her arms to him willingly. Figuratively or not, hugging him to her in the darkness until he stops shivering, until she chases away the nightmares that have been plaguing him since Eros.

It’s this and so much more – his smiles, the way he rolls his eyes at Alex’s magic tricks, his sarcastic banter with Amos, and how he laughs at the insults she throws at him. It’s the way he wraps his arms around her waist to hug her from behind. It’s the stupid Earther baseball cap he insists on wearing. It’s his shirt fitting so well to his body. It’s his voice, rolling like rocks carried by waves. 

It’s this, and so much more, that has Naomi certain that she loves him.


End file.
